Yoga Teaching: Fears

This June I will be embarking on a wonderful journey at Kripalu where I will be going through their 200-hour yoga teacher training. This will be a wonderful experience and I’m really looking forward to it. That being said, I have some fears related to yoga teaching that I thought would be good to get out there and share. By voicing my fears I hope to, first, be able to acknowledge them, and then second, be able to work through some of them as I embark on my yoga-teaching journey.

I am afraid that…

Asana Practice: A Narrowing of Yoga

Here in the US, Yoga has become, in a lot of ways, synonymous with asana practice, i.e. the sequence of postures that one performs during a session of yoga. In a lot of ways, thus, yoga has been stripped of a lot of its tradition and deeper practices, which I contend lead to the greater benefits of cultivating a yoga practice. Of course, before continuing I must say that approaching yoga as a purely physical practice is not necessarily a bad thing: it gets people moving, it builds strength, it brings people together and can act as a springboard into the deeper inner workings of the yoga tradition. This is ultimately how I came to start my yoga journey, so I’m definitely not knocking it, but I think it’s important to make a distinction between Asana practice and the larger tradition that is Yoga.

#yogascruff: Let’s Break It Down

Just like my yoga journey, this phrase or brand or, maybe even movement (of one, so far), needs further definition. A fleshing out, if you will.

Let’s first look at the word yoga. Now, of course, there are many ways to describe and define yoga. Take a look at the Wikipedia page for a thorough description. For my purposes, yoga really involves more than just the postures. Yes, asana brings a great majority of us to the yoga mat initially, but as we delve deeper into this thing called yoga, we touch upon the spiritual path that is also so integral to the practice of yoga. It’s more than just the postures; it’s a way of interacting with the world and with the self. For Patanjali, in his yoga sutras, the ultimate aim of yoga is the cessation of “the perturbations of the mind” (source: Wikipedia). The various facets of yoga (the yamas, niyamas, asana, meditation, etc.) all help us reach peace with the present moment and bring us back again and again to our true inner selves. To our present moment. To peace.

Of course, this journey into the true self, this journey to peace never ceases. No yogi, I think, wakes up one day and says, “Oh, yeah. Totally at peace 24/7 now. Totally enlightened, dude.” And that’s the whole point. Yoga is a constant practice. 

This, then, leads me to the idea of scruff. If you look in urban dictionary, you’ll find the following definition:

• scruff: “facial hair. basically day three to five after a shave”. (source here; also check out the other very interesting definitions of scruff; scandalous!)

Thus, scruff is not clean shaven. Scruff is also not a full blown beard. Scruff is an in-between space. It is a beginning: the start of a beard. It is potential. Scruff, I think, embodies the yoga path beautifully because it too represents a journey. Yeah, sure, equating a spiritual journey to facial hair may seem silly, but I think it’s awesome. You know why? Because scruff can be itchy. Scruff can look funny, a little unkempt. Scruff happens when you don’t shave. When you’re letting your facial hair grow out a little. Maybe you’re busy with other things. Maybe you’re lazy and don’t want to shave. Maybe you like to have a bit of scruff. The yoga path is not perfect. Do you know how many times I have gone up into handstand to only fall over one second later? Do you know how many times I’ve vowed to meditate and then not followed through? It’s a journey. The yoga journey, I think, is always in an in-between place, because I don’t think anyone (at least not little ol’ me!) will arrive at enlightenment or peace 24/7 365 days a year. Scruff embodies an in-between place, too. They both carry potential. The journey is much more important than the destination, right?

So, really, Yoga Scruff, then, is all about enjoying the journey; paying attention to the day-to-day. To the progress. It’s about letting the facial hair grow a bit and not worrying if it looks a little messy, or isn’t perfect. Because that’s beautiful. Yoga Scruff is permission to be kind to your body and know its limits. To celebrate your successes and soothe yourself when you fail. Let’s be OK with being in this in-between place as we make our yogic journey; let’s revel in the scruff we’re growing. What do you say?

#yogascruff: Definitions & Intentions

Yoga scruff. noun.

1. A quality found in both new and seasoned yoga practitioners, in which practice is new, is not perfect, is continuously evolving; a state of perpetual growth in one’s yogic life journey. “Hey, look at that yoga scruff you’ve got there. You’re making such progress as you learn to pay closer attention to your moment-to-moment experience.” or “My asana practice is really changing, feels more fluid. My yoga scruff is really growing!”

For me, Yoga Scruff embodies the beginnings of a journey, a deeper delving into the world of yoga learning and yoga teaching. In June I’ll be heading off to Kripalu for their 30-day 200-hour yoga intensive training. I am immeasurably excited, but also nervous about what will come after. Can I make it as a budding yoga teacher? I don’t know. But I want to try.

This space, then, will be a way for me to chronicle my journey before, during and after my yoga certification. I hope to be a voice for all those that are trying to do the same as me; I hope to learn from those that have come before, and maybe to help those that come after. My goal is to be as honest as possible about the process. The ups. The downs. The grind. The hustle. The journey towards a more fulfilled life, helping people find themselves again and again. This is my journey; this is my yoga scruff: a little itchy, not a full beard; a space of transition; a space of potential. Will you join me?

Article Discussion: Are Narcissistic Yoga Teachers Ruining Your Asanas?

Briana Rognlin, in her article “Are Narcississtic Yoga Teachers Ruining Your Asanas?“, which responds to this Newsweek article, makes a good point about a specific type of yoga instructor, who is more interested in rising to fame, and being a star, than in helping people better themselves through yoga.

She says, “While the leader of the pack is supposed to be a humble and spiritually enlightened guru, they point out that often, they’re more like performers who’ve finally found their captive audience. Instead of tuning into Dharma, instructors are indulging their egos, thanks to their devoted, high-paying students” (Rognlin, 2011).

This idea is so interesting because it’s so true. Now, I have yet to really encounter this type of yoga teacher, and maybe that makes me lucky, but I can very easily see how this would happen. Sometimes, as a Spanish teacher, I feel this: a (mostly) captive audience, the attention from the students in the hallways or outside of the school building. Sometimes you feel like a little mini-celebrity. But, of course, that’s not the point at all for why one teaches! It’s about helping people grow. It’s about cultivating a safe space for that growth. One’s yoga practice — especially if one is living a life according to yogic philosophy — should actively work against the elevation of the ego.

I see this also in yogis that constantly push the body past its limits. There is great beauty in challenging asana, but there is also great danger, not only physically, but also in becoming attached to the reaction TO those impressive postures. I can be guilty of this myself when a fellow classmate compliments my poses, asks if I’m a dancer, etc. You have this little welling up inside, a warm feeling washes over you. Praise! Ego! Give me more! I think it’s probably impossible to turn off that reaction, at least in my lifetime, but what is important is noticing it happening. Observing it and then letting it go.

As a budding yoga instructor, that’s what I will try to do when my ego is being stroked. I will try to watch the emotion without feeding into it. I mean, yes, of course one wants to have yoga students. I want to build a yoga community. Also, practically, I have to put food on the table and pay my bills. But, I think one can do this without getting caught up in the potential ‘glam/fame’ associated with teaching yoga, if one lives by the yogic precepts of the yamas and niyamas and truly focuses on adding value to his or her students’ lives and practice. Focus on that, watch the emotions as they arise, and try to do your best. That’ll be my intention, at least.

#yogascruff: Screw shaving, just do yoga!

Thich Nhat Hanh on Love

I’ve really been channeling Thich Nhat Hanh a lot lately. Re-reading over his book, Peace is Every Step. It’s such an important book for me on my spiritual, #yogascruff journey. Here’s a quote on Real Love that is amazing:

“We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.” (p. 80).

My Asana Perspective

I try to approach my asana practice from the perspective of mindfulness. For me, asana is another meditation and another way for me to really dial in on what’s happening currently in the moment. I also always try to approach my asana practice from a place of loving-kindness. Moving in a way that honors my body’s expressive abilities while being aware of its limitations as well.

We talk a lot in our asana practice, our yoga practice about the edge. About going up to our edge and hanging out there. For me, my edge in my asana practice is when I feel that resistance from my body in a particular pose. Like a band stretched, stretched, stretched, until it reaches its limits. That’s when I know I shouldn’t go further. I should hang out at that precise moment and really tune in to how my body feels, how my breath expresses itself.

Beyond the body, the breath can be a wonderful focus for determining where your edge or limit lies. If you can breathe easily in a posture, then you are treating your body well. If, as you stretch out into a pose, or try to add a more challenging variation to something, you feel your breath tighten, or catch, you know that maybe you should relax a bit. Dial back the intensity. Go back to a less extreme posture.

Your body is supremely intelligent. Through the breath and through the body’s twinges and tightenings as you lengthen a muscle, you will figure out where your edge is, thus allowing you to drop further into the moment and practice loving-kindness with yourself. This then turns your asana practice into something other then just exercise; this is what brings you back to yourself; to tuning in to the current moment. Without that tuning in what is the point, really?

Personal Reflections on Yoga

So, I’m reading The Yogi Entrepreneur by Darren Main and it’s been really good so far. By so far, I mean I’ve gotten to the end of Chapter One. Ha! Obviously I have a bit to go. In the first chapter, he has this journal exercise that is supposed to help you think about how you want to be as a yoga teacher. I found it really helpful, actually, and thought I should share what I wrote with you all out in the Internet. Please keep in mind that it’s not edited or anything. Raw, if you will. And there’s a lot! If you have any comments or questions, I always enjoy messages, so feel free to fire away. Thanks for joining me on this #yogascruff journey.